India, Oct. 21 --
Prakriti Saxena Poddar, Clinically Trained Mental Health & Wellbeing Expert, and Global Head at Roundglass
Screen time was a reasonable question for a passive medium. It is no longer the right one. Technology that responds, validates, advises and remembers cannot be evaluated by the number of minutes it occupies. What is being shaped in a child during such an interaction is the more important question.
The parenting conversation needs to be moved from restriction to capability. Independent thinking, frustration tolerance, emotional discernment, real relationships, curiosity, and a strong sense of self are the capacities to protect and cultivate. AI can be used without shaping a child only when these capacities are firmly in place.
Why duration is the wrong measure
Videos and games ask for attention and little else. AI is different in kind. It is answered, it is confided in, and at midnight it can be experienced as a friend. 20 minutes with a system that is endlessly agreeable can be more formative than two hours of cartoons.
The speed of this shift is reflected in recent data. In a Common Sense Media survey, 72% of teenagers reported using AI companions, and a third said they chose AI over people for serious conversations. In a RAND study published this year, 19.2% of young people aged 12 to 21 reported using AI chatbots for advice or help when feeling sad, angry, nervous, or stressed. Comparable figures for Indian children remain limited. The devices are the same, however, and so are the midnight hours.
Capacities that need protection
Independent thinking is the first. When an answer is reached for before a thought has been formed, the capacity for forming thoughts is left unbuilt.
Frustration tolerance is the second. The discomfort of a difficult maths problem is not an obstacle to learning. It is the exercise. It is noted in Common Sense Media's guidance that the struggle needed for cognitive, social and emotional skills is removed by easy AI answers, and caution is therefore advised for younger children.
Emotional discernment is the third, meaning the ability to tell being soothed from being understood. Agreement is built into most chatbots. A good friend, by contrast, will sometimes say that the other person was unfair.
Real relationships are the fourth. Friendship involves rupture and repair, awkward silences, and the occasional refusal. None of it is taught by a companion that has no needs of its own.
Curiosity and a strong sense of self complete the list. Curiosity shows up in asking a question worth asking, rather than collecting the nearest answer. A sense of self forms from decisions that are made, regretted, and owned.
Why restriction alone falls short
Restriction is seldom effective by itself. These tools appear at school, on a friend's phone, and inside applications not known to contain them. Prohibition creates a more serious problem: secrecy. It was pointed out by RAND researchers that chatbots are often used for mental health advice privately, without the knowledge of parents, clinicians or other adults. What is hidden cannot be helped.
Guidance is beginning to catch up. In Common Sense Media's age guidance of June 2026, no chatbot use is recommended at five and under, limited use alongside a parent is recommended at six to twelve, and supervised use for homework and creativity, but not for comfort or feelings, is recommended for teenagers. The direction is sound. Families handle the more human part of the task.
How this appears at home
A common pattern is a household where a router timer enforces two hours of daily screen time, and phones are kept out of bedrooms by ten. By every metric, a 13-year-old is compliant. Later, it is discovered that most of the permitted time has been spent in a long, private conversation with a chatbot about a quarrel with a close friend. The child has been listened to and agreed with, and a message has been drafted that makes him sound wronged and reasonable at the same time. The clock was checked. What was being done was not.
When that pattern is reversed, the timer is usually loosened rather than tightened. A single question, 'What did you ask it today?', is put at dinner. The conversation with the friend is read together and talked through. The chatbot is still used, but now it's talked about, and that matters more.
Prakriti Poddar
What actually helps
The question is changed at home. 'How long?' is replaced by 'What for?' A useful test at any age is whether the AI is helping learning or only helping completion.
Struggle comes first. A rule is agreed that a problem is attempted alone for ten minutes before help is sought, and the reason is explained. Children accept effort when they understand what it builds.
The tool is used together. They explore it together and ask a question whose answer is already known. When they are caught being wrong, discernment begins to develop.
Feelings are kept human. A household norm is set: worries go to a person first. Availability at ten at night, without a lecture, is what makes that norm workable. A child's nervous system is settled by a parent's calm presence in a way that no chatbot can match.
The behaviour is modelled. Children copy what is done with phones far more than what is said about them. When the chatbot is consulted in place of a spouse, a friend or one's own judgement, it is noticed.
Curiosity replaces punishment. 'What do you talk to it about?' opens a conversation. 'Give me that phone' ends one.
Seek help when needed. Withdrawal from friends, disrupted sleep, secrecy or real distress when access is removed warrants a consultation with a paediatrician, school counsellor or psychologist. In India, Tele MANAS (14416) is free and available round the clock, and Childline (1098) is available for children in distress.
The aim is not a child who never touches the technology. It is a child who can use it and still remain the author of their own mind.
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