US, Nov. 4 -- I recently had my annual checkup and the doctor told me that the creatinine levels in my blood are slightly elevated. I just nodded and pretended that I knew what "creatinine" meant. It didn't sound bad. It sounded like something a creative person might have. (I googled it later and found out that "creatinine" is a waste product from protein and muscle breakdown, not from overusing your right brain.)

The doctor didn't seem concerned. He said that I was probably dehydrated and needed to drink more water. But he didn't offer me any. You'd think he'd have some free water bottles to hand out. Every doctor's office should have free water bottles with labels printed with some medical advice: "Water is good for you. Consult your ...