New Delhi, April 23 -- Lately, I've been afflicted with a strange problem. I've started to sound quite like a 47-year-old woman. This would have been perfectly alright-if I wasn't just 28. I first noticed it last month on a visit to my 59-year-old mother. I found myself telling her, "Will you please just keep your phone aside and listen to me?" I was horrified. What made it worse was her reply, "Wait, let me just finish this reel first."

Had we gone back in time and switched souls? Was I in a Freaky Friday spin-off nobody told me about? No, it turns out this is just what happens when older folks with the infinite time of retirement meet the infinitely addictive algorithms of their smartphones.

Interestingly, for many people my age, this...