India, Dec. 30 -- At the end of the year, I like to reflect on the key events of the year, the feelings they evoked, and about the people who had an impact on my life. As I have grown older, I have learnt to make this process interesting for myself, and my clients by choosing specific questions that allow me to pause and reflect. Being a therapist, one of my first questions has to do with feelings and pleasant emotions. I began by asking myself, "What did I do that was fun for me this year?" It's a question that is key to our vitality and playfulness. At the same time, much of what defines midlife for many adults is caregiving, grief, rethinking work, and coming to terms with changes in the body and mind. So, allowing for moments of lightness can feel like a task, or even evoke guilt some times. As we go through these developmental transitions, we run the risk of moving from problem-solving to escaping into work, or withdrawing altogether, and eventually losing sight of being playful and having fun. When I look back at my own year, watching theatre, taking a spontaneous trip to meet friends, finding a community in unexpected places like at a literature festival, and learning a new skill, were the things that evoked joy in me. Reminding oneself of what nourishes us is a good exercise in deepening what one wants to cultivate. So, begin your year-end reflections by making a list of the fun moments. The second question that I ask people is this: 'Tell me about a conversation that made you feel anchored.' I follow this up by asking people about which of their relationships they want to strengthen. Our social connections and the depth of our relationships have a huge impact on our longevity and quality of life. So, choosing to invest in community and intimate relationships is crucial. The way we understand work is shifting rapidly, bringing with it an expectation of continual agility and adaptation. Our definition of what it means to achieve is also undergoing change. This year, I consciously asked clients to define what achievement meant for them, and then to give me instances. Even after all these years as a therapist I still feel surprised by how a simple question can reveal so much. A client, for instance, mentioned how he made a new close friend at work which, in turn, helped him to find trust in the world again, and that, he said, felt like an achievement. A friend mentioned how it had been a hard year for her on various fronts, and the fact that she can look back on these things and not feel bitter was an achievement. A client who was in his 60's once told me that he was never satisfied with things being good enough. "It feels like I am cheating so I continue to work and don't take breaks," he said. We both laughed at this because he also knew that he had never given himself permission to make time for relaxation. Another question to ask ourselves as we head into a new year is this: 'How much work is enough?' When you combine this with your list of achievements and things that are fun for you, it can help you understand what energizes you at work and when can you pause. Likewise, another good question is about your relationship with money. Do you associate your self-worth with money, for instance? While much of life unfolds in ways we can't always fully comprehend, finding time to pause, reflect allows us to cultivate informed optimism and set micro-goals that enhance the quality of life. I would love to hear about the questions that guided you this year. You can reach out to me at contact@guptasonali.com...