India, Sept. 9 -- It's one of those paradoxes that we get sharp insights into 'How To Live' when someone close to us or someone we admire, passes away. My mother- in-law died from a sudden cardiac arrest in April this year. In the days that followed, in the midst of the grief that hung over us, the task of clearing her cupboard fell to me. As I sorted through the mound of her salwar kurtas with Kashmiri embroidery, neatly ironed and stacked in the cupboard, I found myself thinking that may be learning to subtract is a task we underestimate. When I use the word subtract, I use it in the context of minimizing, of letting go and not necessarily running away from responsibilities or difficult tasks. It comes from a place of recognizing that if one must channelize their limited energy, then how best to use it, and where to let go. Leidy Klotz, author of 'Subtract: The untapped science of less' writes, "Subtraction is the act of getting to less, but it is not the same as doing less. In fact, getting to less, often means doing, or at least thinking more." It's a mindful way of focusing that allows our attention and resources to be prioritized which, in turn, frees up mental energy. As human beings we are wired to add, chase more, and often we confuse adding more with happiness and greater satisfaction. But as I get older, I am increasingly drawn to simplifying my life. I first began thinking of this during the pandemic when several of my clients spoke about feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or struggling with decision fatigue. One of the questions I began asking them was this: 'What's that one thing in your life right now that you can subtract which will improve your wellbeing?" The answers to this question have been fascinating. They range from exercising five days a week no matter how tired people are, to that itch to respond to messages instantly, to doom-scrolling, or endlessly working over one's finances. For me personally, it meant decluttering, letting go of clothes, books, accessories that I no longer needed. I also consciously chose to cut down on my social media consumption which is such an energy vampire. My advice to clients is that instead of waiting for a burn out, they should periodically examine their habits and behavioural patterns, and slowly let go those that don't work for them. Though we all do know this in theory changing in actual life is always hard. So, acknowledging that as we move towards subtracting things from our lives, is important. The other thing is to stop glorifying multi-tasking or keeping the many balls up in the air because in our desire for complexity we continue adding - books, new goals, new tasks. I myself have, in the past, been guilty of feeling rather pleased with my multi-tasking abilities. However, the older we get, the more we need to pause and use our values as a compass to ask how this addition (new goals, people) is serving us, or if it is interfering with our wellbeing. While there is no simple answer to this - sometimes simply being aware of the question helps. My own therapist, for instance, reminded me that by doing less, we live more. As we simplify, we allow ourselves more bandwidth to think, to savour things that are important. Like all paradoxes, with these small acts of letting go and subtracting, I am beginning to see how certain habits, that once served me well, have stopped being useful. 'Less' no longer feels like a shameful word....