India, Sept. 6 -- Before getting married, couples take the time to get to know each other, asking each other's likes and dislikes, goals and aspirations. But one aspect which can quietly unfurl any fairytale romance is the mental load of everyday living. "Mental load isn't just about doing things. It's about seeing, remembering, anticipating and planning what needs to be done," explains counselling psychologist Damini Grover. This is different from sharing responsibility: It's buying food vs seeing what's being used up; going to the family function vs remembering birthdays, buying gifts, coordinating plans, and keeping up with everything. When you're dating, you're running two separate lives. But with marriage, this shared life can often take a toll. This is why premarital conversations need to be deeper than, "Will you help with the house?" Instead, couples should discuss: What does shared responsibility mean to us? Who controls your everyday life today? What responsibilities have you never had to think about because someone else always took care of them? How will we share not just the tasks but also the planning? "Partnership is more than two people dividing up responsibilities to help each other out. It is two people realising that the life they have created together is theirs - and so is the responsibility of carrying it," she says....