India, March 13 -- Elvis the Alien. Film reviewer Marc Salov watched the Twilight movie (2008) and declared that he'd had "mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, unrequited, and altogether unfun pseudo-romantic riff on Romeo and Juliet." Elvis the Alien (Elvis JS Phillps), went a step further by performing his review in a sparkly skin suit to poke fun at the vampires and their pale powdery skin.

Roger Ebert. The GOAT reviewed over 10,000 movies from 1967 to 2013. Here's what he thought of Valentine's Day (2010): "It's more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date." His takedown of the 1996 film Mad Dog Time: It "doesn't improve on t...