India, May 29 -- Coffee snobs, we see you. You were buying jars of instant coffee a decade ago, chugging the swill and getting on with the day. Here you are, in 2026, claiming that the Nescafe jingle - pupp parappa paa paa paa - is cringe, and that Bru is "not even really coffee".

Sure, coffee beans deliver a richer flavour than cheaper chicory mixes. Sure, a good roast, a fresh brew, and Starbucks getting your name right on the cup is the holy trinity. But come on. No one wants to be trapped in a conversation about Liberica and Excelsa beans that they didn't start. No one wakes up, expecting to hear about the difference between a Slayer or La Marzocco (they're coffee machines, BTW). No one believes that a refractometer will make their l...