DAR ES SALAAM, Aug. 20 -- IT may seem surprising that the people we love most are often the ones we find hardest to be emotionally honest with.

In therapy, I sometimes meet clients who can speak openly about frustrations with colleagues or friends, yet become noticeably more careful when the conversation turns to their family, particularly their parents.

They describe difficult memories calmly, often emphasizing what their parents sacrificed or how much they appreciate them.

At first glance, the emotional tone appears restrained, as if something important has been held back.

When we slow down and explore the moment more carefully, the feeling is usually still present.

What makes it difficult is not the emotion itself but the meaning ...