DAR ES SALAAM, Aug. 6 -- NINE years into my marriage, I thought my husband and I had figured out communication. We rarely had explosive arguments.

We discussed our responsibilities, planned for our family and carried on with the routines of everyday life. I believed we understood each other because, after all, we had spent nearly a decade together.

Then, one ordinary conversation changed everything. It wasnt planned. There was no major disagreement that forced us to sit down.

It was simply one of those rare moments when we put everything else aside and had an honest conversation, just the two of us. As we talked, I realised that beneath our seemingly stable marriage were assumptions we had quietly carried for years.

In my mind, whenev...