DAR ES SALAAM, July 26 -- LADIES and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, chairpersons of football WhatsApp groups and honourable citizens who have never kicked anything heavier than a bedroom slipper: The 2026 FIFA World Cup is over.

It is finished. Kaput.

The trophy has been lifted, the confetti has fallen, the players have cried, smiled, swapped shirts and disappeared into private jets with sunglasses large enough to qualify as aircraft parts.

The stadium lights have dimmed, the television graphics have been packed away and most of the world has moved on.

Tanzania, however, has not.

More precisely, the Republic of Wachambuzi, that proud, noisy and entirely imaginary nation of armchair analysts, radio callers and tactical philosophers ...