Nigeria, Aug. 2 -- Falling in love with a Nigerian is not for the faint-hearted. Sissies need not apply. It requires patience, a tolerance for contradictions, and pretty much everything 1 Corinthians 13 recommends. And that's just the bare minimum. But if you've ever loved a wasp, a cockroach, a scorpion, or a butterfly-this will be easy.

Now, I understand how absurd that sounds. Some of you-my African brothers and sisters-have told me in hushed tones:

"We like you Nigerians, but. sometimes. it's too much."

Yes. We know. Our wahala is too much.

Ghanaians sigh, "Charlie, dey don come," when we enter a room. South Africans roll their eyes and mutter, "Eish." Kenyans try to keep up with our speed and volume, saying, "Haraka, haraka haina...