New Delhi, Nov. 5 -- We still have forests, right? Two and a half hours into Ramayana: Part 1, my eyes were pining for something natural. Nothing fancy, just a real tree with real leaves that doesn't look like it won a tree contest. But instead of Ram, Sita and Lakshman exiled in actual, ready-to-use nature, we get Namit Malhotra's dream forest, painstakingly rendered blade by blade, lifelike and lifeless. One bewildering shot glides over the top of a hut before descending on the divine trio. I know we're in the midst of the greatest story ever told, it seems to say, but look at my super-realistic thatched roof.

This is what a decade of planning and a rumoured 4,000 crore rupees will buy you. A genuine spectacle, but also an empty one, a...