New Delhi, Nov. 8 -- It is Diwali. Everyone seems happy. Instagram is full of picture-perfect lives and smiling faces, while you are sitting on the sofa thinking: "Why don't I feel happy?"
Welcome to the festive blues. Festive blues is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis. It describes a period of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, irritability or emotional exhaustion that can occur around festivals and holidays, and it is more common than we think.
Why can festivals make us feel low?
We tend to imagine festivals as a time of happiness, togetherness and celebration. But that expectation can itself become stressful. Festivals often bring family pressure, financial stress, travel, social obligations and disrupted routines.
For someone who has lost a loved one, celebrations can also make their absence feel much more obvious. For someone living away from family, watching everyone else celebrate together can intensify loneliness.
And then there are the questions that can feel like an emotional interrogation when you meet family: "When are you getting married?", "When are you having children?", "What are you doing with your career?", "How was your exam?"
Why does it seem worse on these days?
When reality does not match that expectation, we can experience what psychologists call an expectation gap. The bigger the gap between how we think we should feel and how we actually feel, the more frustrated or guilty we may become.
Another reason is that we are constantly exposed to other people's celebrations. Social media has turned festivals into a 24-hour comparison exercise. You see someone's decorated home, their family gathering, their holiday, their relationship, and their perfectly edited festive photographs. Sadly, what you don't see is the argument that happened five minutes before the photograph. You don't see the debt behind the expensive holiday or the person who went home, closed the door and cried.
We compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel. This can create the feeling that everyone is having a better festival than us. There is also the pressure to perform happiness. If everyone around you is excited, admitting that you feel lonely, exhausted or sad can make you feel as though something is wrong with you.
What can you do about festive blues?
Lower the pressure to be happy. A festival does not have to be the best day of your year. You are allowed to enjoy some parts and dislike others.
Protect your basics. Sleep, regular meals, exercise and some structure become surprisingly important when routines are disrupted.
Be selective about social commitments. You do not have to attend every gathering or answer every intrusive question.
Practice boundaries: Have a few prepared responses. "I'm not discussing that today." "Let's talk about something else." A boundary is the best festive gift you can give yourself.
Limit social media if it is making you feel worse. You do not need to watch everyone else's celebration while experiencing your own.
And finally, create your own version of the festival. Maybe it is a large family dinner, maybe it is two close friends, your favourite food and a movie. Maybe it is volunteering, travelling or simply spending a quiet evening at home. There is no single correct way to celebrate.
When is it more than festive blues?
A few difficult days around a festival are not necessarily a mental illness. But if sadness, anxiety, hopelessness or loss of interest persists, significantly affects your functioning or comes with thoughts of self-harm, it deserves proper attention. Talk to a mental health professional rather than assuming you simply need to "cheer up."
Published by HT Digital Content Services with permission from Millennium Post.