India, April 22 -- Contd. from p 03 I don't think so. I freeze when I see pictures of Pahalgam on social media. The valley is beautiful, but what it did to me is the most painful thing ever. I still say people might understand losing a partner or a loved one, but I do not think they can understand the pain of losing a partner the way I have. The image of bloodshed is the biggest trauma I am living with. I do not think it is one person. It is my family. The strength I get from them is everything. Main apne ghar mein sabse badi beti hoon. Shubham apne ghar mein sabse bade thhe. Then technically main bhi sabse badi hui after our wedding. With him gone, I have the responsibility of two families now. But it is both ways. His family considers me as their responsibility now. And Shubham ka pyaar jo mere liye hai. continues to give me power. I still feel his love around me. That's true, people will go away ultimately. Mine and Shubham's parents are there. But there will come a time when they will also get on with their lives. This emptiness hits me every day. So many times, I sit in our room and talk to his picture... I am trying to keep him alive as much as possible in my memories and day to day life. I have given it a lot of thought. Pakistan sabse zyaada terror failaane wali country hai, I am not afraid to name it. Saying it out loud is what we need to do. Everybody who calls themselves an Indian should know what happened in Pahalgam was done by terrorists of Pakistan, to divide this country. Deep down, we need to know that a lot of insiders in the country were involved as well. They could be from one community, or maybe not. I will still say people who cannot say Vande Mataram and Jai Hind, or stand for the national anthem, do not belong to this country and should not stay here, chaahe kisi bhi dharam ke hon. It is not about religion, but about the country. I had quit my job after my marriage to Shubham was fixed. I had decided to run my dance studio after marriage. Since losing Shubham, I am not able to get back to dancing. Mere liye bahut bada personal fall hai. I am trying to keep myself busy with different things. I might start my workshops soon. It does pain me, living the moment and then recalling it every time. But I want to speak loudly about everything. I will make sure people remember this incident till my last breath. Yaad rakhna zaroori hai....