India, March 14 -- A forgotten birthday. A career setback. A terrible mistake made with money.

These things can be crushing, within a relationship. There is one habit that makes such a problem far worse, and it is the guilt trip.

When we hold against a person something they already regret, and use it to vent our anger, over and over, it can be devastating. Very few things, in fact, are more egregiously harmful to a relationship.

The blame game shatters the balance that every good relationship relies on. It replaces love and kindness with judgment and cruelty. In my experience working with couples, I have encountered, over and over, the wreckage this form of lashing-out can cause.

I am currently coaching a couple, let's call them Tina ...