India, Aug. 21 -- "You should go to the US. Men there are open minded. They won't ask you to get pregnant. Befriend men, and tell them about yourself. If someone understands, you can be with them," said the well meaning relative.

I smiled politely wondering if I should tell her that I do have empathetic male friends for whom I have no romantic feelings. I was annoyed that pregnancy was yet again at the centre of discussions about my health. No one, apart from my gynaecologist, had so far asked me if I even wanted to have kids. And she too had asked me that in the context of marriage.

How do I tell these people that I had decided long ago, at the age of eight, to adopt a baby girl? At 13, I had decided that I would only marry someone who...