DAR ES SALAAM, March 29 -- THERE is something beautifully absurd about the way we handle football in Tanzania. Not the playing of it, of course. That part we approach with the seriousness of a national exam.

It is the talking where we truly become world-class.

If FIFA ever introduced a global tournament for football debates, Tanzania would qualify without even playing the preliminaries.

We would top the group, argue about why we topped the group and then form a committee to investigate whether we topped the group correctly.

As a matter of fact, an outsider landing in the country and trying to understand our football culture would need only a few minutes to reach a confident conclusion.

That Tanzania is home to exactly two football cl...